One thing that bothered me was this constant repeating scenario:
I am in my dorm and I try out a dress but see its too tight and not that flattering, so I take it off when my suite mate barges and in surprise yelps out "Why are you taking it off, you look so good!"
I answer the truth "The dress is too tight and my thighs aren't flattering in this dress. Ill wear it once I loose more weight."
Then comes the famous line "You are crazy you don't need to loose weight. You look gorgeous..."and so on.
OR
I get dressed to go running when one of my suite mates comes back from the gym and asks where I am going, so I say to "To go run a bit and loose some winter savings." And than the famous line again "You are crazy, you don't need to loose any more weight. You look beautiful, girl.... and so on."
First, thank you very much for praising me on my looks and making me feel nice but it is not what I wanted in the first place. I never understand when people, especially women, tell each other they look fine the way they are or that they look beautiful and gorgeous in a tight dress when clearly they don't. We all want to put on a tight clothing and look good, but if we, ourselves let our body a bit/ or a lot out of control its our consequence of not being able to wear such clothes. It really bothers me when close friends can't tell each other the truth for the benefit of the other. It is always the same thing: No you don't need to loose weight, no you look good. Its one thing when the person really does look good, but it is another when they don't and you're their close friend and can't say the truth. Why? I don't get it. Tell them if they jog twice a week they will trim their thighs and get healthier. Weekly exercise will help them get into the dress and look stunning. But instead they just give them lies.
I didn't look great in my dress. I know I am heavy on my bottom and when receiving those comments I just closed my ears to them. Their words were just empty talk for them to look sweeter. For me it is much more important when people care for me and can say the truth for my own benefit. For example, when I ask my boyfriend how does a certain piece of clothing looks when I am in the fitting rom, he tells me the truth (gently of course) that the skirt looks really good but if I just jog for a bit I can trim the thighs and I will look even better in the skirt. When I gain a bit of weight, he tells me to lay low on the pasta for a bit and makes me move around more. When I know he cares, I actually try harder myself.
The other part that really bothers me is that if I know I need to loose weight and I am exercising, so why are you telling me I don't need to? I don't get this part. If I am exercising to be more fit and be healthier physically and attain a better athletic body why do you tell me (falsely) that I don't need to. Is it to make you feel better about yourself, or to have you sound like a good person? The funny part, my suite mate was also exercising to loose weight and just came from the gym. While she knows she is overweight in certain areas, for some reason in her opinion I don't know if I am overweight. I don't see how that works. Why also tell the other person they aren't heavy if the person is trying to change that fact. Of course, no one should not belittle a person's goals but instead should give support and motivation rather than empty words, for example on playful note "Oh, tell me how much you loose this month, I want to see if I can beat you" or "If you keep it up, we will go shopping for new wardrobe in couple of weeks."
I started gaining weight when I was 13-14 years old. Although I played tennis constantly, I still gained weight from eating Cheetos Puffs daily. My family was telling me to lay low on the chips and go jog more often. I didn't listen and now I am nearing 20's with the same fat haunting me. So when people say you are to young to lose weight, I don't see any problem with losing weight for a younger child if it is a healthier choice. (Losing weight to become skinny at 13 is not what I mean.)
My brother is actually one of my best supporters. Whenever we Skype he tells me right away if I gained some weight or lost some. He would just recommend few exercises that I might be interested in or shares his progress with me. Although, yes at that moment it is a bit uncomfortable hearing the truth, but I am much more happier receiving his support. I feel motivated to work out and look better because when I do, he is usually the most happiest for my achievement.
So what I want to say: if you have a best/close friend who is overweight (unhealthy fat) try to encourage them to eat more salads and stay off carbs. Invite them for dinner if you make good 'diet' food. Drag them along for a jog, once or twice a week. They might be slowing you down, but if you care about your friend I think seeing them getting healthier is a much better accomplishment. Another thing that you can do but may be risky, go to the department store, look for a piece of clothing that will look good on your friend, but a size or two smaller. So if she/he likes it, make a promise that you will buy the clothing but she/he needs to lose weight to fit into it. If they give up through the next week, you can always threaten to return the clothing back to the store, or take it for yourself (if return date is past.)
Please care for those who are close to you. Support them and push them to attain a better body with which comes a healthier mind.
I am in my dorm and I try out a dress but see its too tight and not that flattering, so I take it off when my suite mate barges and in surprise yelps out "Why are you taking it off, you look so good!"
I answer the truth "The dress is too tight and my thighs aren't flattering in this dress. Ill wear it once I loose more weight."
Then comes the famous line "You are crazy you don't need to loose weight. You look gorgeous..."and so on.
OR
I get dressed to go running when one of my suite mates comes back from the gym and asks where I am going, so I say to "To go run a bit and loose some winter savings." And than the famous line again "You are crazy, you don't need to loose any more weight. You look beautiful, girl.... and so on."
First, thank you very much for praising me on my looks and making me feel nice but it is not what I wanted in the first place. I never understand when people, especially women, tell each other they look fine the way they are or that they look beautiful and gorgeous in a tight dress when clearly they don't. We all want to put on a tight clothing and look good, but if we, ourselves let our body a bit/ or a lot out of control its our consequence of not being able to wear such clothes. It really bothers me when close friends can't tell each other the truth for the benefit of the other. It is always the same thing: No you don't need to loose weight, no you look good. Its one thing when the person really does look good, but it is another when they don't and you're their close friend and can't say the truth. Why? I don't get it. Tell them if they jog twice a week they will trim their thighs and get healthier. Weekly exercise will help them get into the dress and look stunning. But instead they just give them lies.
I didn't look great in my dress. I know I am heavy on my bottom and when receiving those comments I just closed my ears to them. Their words were just empty talk for them to look sweeter. For me it is much more important when people care for me and can say the truth for my own benefit. For example, when I ask my boyfriend how does a certain piece of clothing looks when I am in the fitting rom, he tells me the truth (gently of course) that the skirt looks really good but if I just jog for a bit I can trim the thighs and I will look even better in the skirt. When I gain a bit of weight, he tells me to lay low on the pasta for a bit and makes me move around more. When I know he cares, I actually try harder myself.
The other part that really bothers me is that if I know I need to loose weight and I am exercising, so why are you telling me I don't need to? I don't get this part. If I am exercising to be more fit and be healthier physically and attain a better athletic body why do you tell me (falsely) that I don't need to. Is it to make you feel better about yourself, or to have you sound like a good person? The funny part, my suite mate was also exercising to loose weight and just came from the gym. While she knows she is overweight in certain areas, for some reason in her opinion I don't know if I am overweight. I don't see how that works. Why also tell the other person they aren't heavy if the person is trying to change that fact. Of course, no one should not belittle a person's goals but instead should give support and motivation rather than empty words, for example on playful note "Oh, tell me how much you loose this month, I want to see if I can beat you" or "If you keep it up, we will go shopping for new wardrobe in couple of weeks."
I started gaining weight when I was 13-14 years old. Although I played tennis constantly, I still gained weight from eating Cheetos Puffs daily. My family was telling me to lay low on the chips and go jog more often. I didn't listen and now I am nearing 20's with the same fat haunting me. So when people say you are to young to lose weight, I don't see any problem with losing weight for a younger child if it is a healthier choice. (Losing weight to become skinny at 13 is not what I mean.)
My brother is actually one of my best supporters. Whenever we Skype he tells me right away if I gained some weight or lost some. He would just recommend few exercises that I might be interested in or shares his progress with me. Although, yes at that moment it is a bit uncomfortable hearing the truth, but I am much more happier receiving his support. I feel motivated to work out and look better because when I do, he is usually the most happiest for my achievement.
So what I want to say: if you have a best/close friend who is overweight (unhealthy fat) try to encourage them to eat more salads and stay off carbs. Invite them for dinner if you make good 'diet' food. Drag them along for a jog, once or twice a week. They might be slowing you down, but if you care about your friend I think seeing them getting healthier is a much better accomplishment. Another thing that you can do but may be risky, go to the department store, look for a piece of clothing that will look good on your friend, but a size or two smaller. So if she/he likes it, make a promise that you will buy the clothing but she/he needs to lose weight to fit into it. If they give up through the next week, you can always threaten to return the clothing back to the store, or take it for yourself (if return date is past.)
Please care for those who are close to you. Support them and push them to attain a better body with which comes a healthier mind.
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